- The mere concept of doing so is unheard of. Some people may point out that I did indeed have a significant other once, but we never actually went on dates.
- I’m not very good at the whole intimacy thing. Don’t get me wrong, interlacing fingers with the right person is like finding a home in a pair of hands and hugs from behind are the best kind of surprise, but being awkward is the only trophy I’ve ever earned that my name is rightfully engraved on.
- I hate when people say “fetch” when they aren’t referring to a dog, getting a pail of water, or making a Mean Girls reference.
- My hair is a chameleon that changes color with my swings of mood, so don’t ever get used to it looking a certain way, especially since…
- All the bleach and dye may one day catch up with me and I’ll lie in my grave as a bald, unattractive woman.
- Even with hair on my head I am an unattractive woman.
- I actually want to be cremated and not buried, that way no one can look at my cake face corpse lying inside the coffin and think man, what an unattractive woman.
- That overly extended, not-at-all joke isn’t the main reason; I just seem to prefer some of the alternative options, like spreading my ashes in a field of sunflowers or being made into a tree.
- My thoughts are like a spontaneous tourist, flying at several miles an hour from place to place without a speck of correlation.
- I can be the most annoying grammar nazi sometimes, even when my own grammar is at war with itself.
- I keep a folder full of random uncommon words on my external hard drive just because I’m so fascinated with the obscurities of the English language.
- I keep a jar on my bedside table full of colorful stars folded up out of thin strips of paper. On the inside of many are wishes expressed in black ink scrawl. I don’t know why I bother to continue such a tradition, when not one has bothered to come true.
- I used to wish to become a singer. My singing career ended with the sound of two buzzers and the abrupt stop of an instrumental track at a local talent show.
- Sometimes I hang my bath towels on my microphone stand.
- Sometimes I want to hang myself because I cannot stand being me.
- I haven’t graduated college yet, but I’ve got a PhD in making people disappear.
- I know I’m fucked up, but even so I’m hoping someone will find beauty in myself that I cannot see.
- I know it’s illogical to search for beauty in myself.
- I also know it’s illogical to wish that someone will love you when you can’t even love yourself, but I do anyway, because even when I don’t believe in love at first sight, I do believe in miracles.
- I do not lack in self-confidence because I want pity in the form in shining compliments, nor because I want some kind of melancholic “cool kid” image.
- I lack in self-confidence because I genuinely do not like who I am. I look in the mirror and see eyes that have seen wasted time. I see bones that jut out of a body like a foot in the door; an invasion unwelcome; an invitation for fear to waltz on inside. I see a flicker that could have been a flame; if boredom and laziness were used as firewood; if more was put into wild, burning passion. I see a draft that the artist has forgotten he had ever worked on. I see a work-in-progress that will never see any more progress; one that will remain untouched and unfinished and left behind while greater pieces see the spotlight.
- I do not want my lover to feel like they have to remedy the scratches of a broken record. That’s technology no one should have to hear of or care for anymore. Our love should feel like a steady stream, no buffering or ads in-between. Our memories should be like a playlist of our favorite melodies, the very ones you want to rewind over and over and over without the disc getting stuck in the machine. So…
- I am not looking to date anyone right now. Not until I know—with 100% of this crippled spirit—that I don’t want to pause this song named heartbeat.
4 responses to “23 Things You Should Know Before Dating Me”
-
Hi, I hope you don’t mind but I just wanted to say that I think you’re absolutely beautiful (I’m not even joking) and I think that you write really, really well. I don’t really mean to sound creepy or like a stalker but I’ve been looking at your blog everyday, eager to see any new posts that you might put up. I just wanted to ask if maybe you have a few pointers or tips in writing? And how you come up with those metaphors or Idioms or just how you’re able to describe something using another scenario or experience. I’m sorry if I sound really pushy, I just really like how you write 🙂
-
Hi there, thank you so much for your kind words! It’s not everyday someone leaves a comment on my posts, and this one really made me smile. Sure, I seem to regularly get views, but it’s a wonder if what I write is actually read and thought about when I rarely ever get feedback. I’m glad at least one person out there enjoys my blog’s content enough to tell me their opinions. You’re far from stalker territory, my friend.
As for writing tips, I’m endlessly flattered that you want to come to me! Honestly, I could go on for quite a while, listing off the best of what I’ve learned over the years, but I think these are the big four:
1. Find people whose writing you like, and figure out why you like their work. Try using similar writing styles or vocabulary. Perhaps keep a note or document of your favorite quotes to inspire you, just be careful not to accidentally insert it into your own poetry/prose.
2. Do your research. Confront numerous books and websites. Learn everything you can about the basics of what makes writing great in a strictly technical sense (it’s argued that even skill level in itself is subjective, which is why having more than one source is important). After you learn the fundamentals, you can learn when to break these “rules” appropriately.
3. You hear this every time you want to get really good at anything, but practice makes perfect. Write as often as you can. Have something you can use to put your thoughts down on with you all times (a notebook, a gadget, etc.) just in case inspiration strikes. Write even when inspiration doesn’t strike. You want to cultivate a wondrous skill that is with you at all times; do not rely on inspiration, which is fleeting and unannounced.
4. Write what you want to write, and write from the heart. No one should dictate how you pen moves but you, and the ink flowing from the pen will feel more like typewriter font instead of heartfelt script if you don’t mean every single word.Oh, and as for my metaphors, I typically try to think of a bunch of similar yet completely unrelated objects or themes; essentially I begin with a similie and build from there, trying to use words that one would normally only use to talk about that particular thing (e.g. I want to use a book to describe a person; “reading” would be learning more about them, their “table of contents” would be their characteristics, etc.). I hope I’m making sense!
This has been pretty lengthy, but I hope I’ve been able to help somehow! Feel free to hit me up on Twitter anytime (link in the black tab up top), if you have any other questions or concerns. I’m more than willing to help out!
-
Hello,
I’m Jessibelle
I am a Filipino-Canadian multimedia storyteller based in Calgary, AB. My pronouns are she/her/hers.
Welcome to my little corner of the internet, where I post whatever every whenever. The top social media platforms seem to have flooded with accounts that aren’t human beings, and/or have terrible to zero policies regarding stolen art. I thought I would save myself some trouble and just put all my whatever in one place.
Even if you never return here again, please know that I am nevertheless deeply appreciative of your visit.
Let’s keep in touch
Subscribing to my email newsletter is the best way to make sure you don’t miss anything.
Instagram updates
I tend to post about fashion, food, the sights I see, and my favorite people (a few of which are my cats, Cheech and Luna—and my dogs, Truffles and Winston).
Jessibelle Atlas 
Got anything to say?